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| My Own Personal New YearThe last year has been an interesting one. I turned 23 in France last summer while working with Daniel and Tammy. Then I returned to Sunset for my last year (as was thought.) I worked with AIM and fell quite in love with the people I was blessed to have in my life.
In January I officially joined the team headed for Scotland, and in March we all went to survey the land. Having brought my work with me, I stay back in Europe to work. First I went to visit the AIMers in East Kilbride, then to Paris for a month, and afterwards onto to Strasbourg for a brief visit.
I went back to the States for a week and a half for Quest (which was the shortest trip I've ever taken across the ocean) and then returned to Europe, this time to Italy to work for the summer, where I've been for the past month.
This year has been long in a lot of ways. I finished Sunset and got my bachelor's degree. I learned a lot about God not only at school, but also in the lives of the people He blessed me to partake in.
I made new friends and was able to spend time with old ones. How blessed I am to have people as close as family all over the world!
The year hasn't been full of happy bubbles on every side, but it has been a year where I have learned much and am thankful for the experiences that God has given me.
I don't know what this next year will look like. In my lack of infinite wisdom, I have made a sketch of what I'd like to see, and what I see God leading me towards. (I have the tendency to get it wrong.) So as I enter this new year of life, I am open to adventure.
This Year I Have :
Gotten lost in Rome.
Eaten a fish head.
Ordered food in another language and got something I wasn't expecting.
Held a day old baby.
Graduated.
Thought I was going to collapse under the work load I'd signed up for.
Slept at least two hours every night and most of them a good 8 hours.
Laughed with my family and enjoyed their company.
Watched my baby sister get married.
Watched my other baby sister move to Africa.
Had two new people added to my family, and the announcement of one more who will Lord willing arrive in 8 months.
Laughed with friends.
Cried over the loss of loved ones.
Cried because I was happy.
Genuinely enjoyed life.
This year, I didn't do everything perfectly. I sinned many times and was forgiven many times. I learned a lot of "what not to do's" and some "what to do's". And in the words of C.S. Lewis' Paranadrian Green Lady, I grew older. I am thankful that this year I could walk beside an awesome God who loves me, and who allows me, of all people, to serve Him.
I pray that this coming year will be a year where I can glorify God in all I do, and that people will see Him despite me.
23 full and blessed years. (It really is a wonderful number). | | |
| Walking by FaithI find it interesting that Paul told the Corinthians that they were to "walk by faith". How many times in our lives do we take the attitude of "sit by faith" or "wait by faith"?
James tells the church in his epistle that they should not make plans to go and do business and leave it at that. But rather, while they are making plans, they are to have the attitude "If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that."
In our lives as Christians, sometimes it is hard to discern what the will of God is. He has not personally sent "The Epistle of Paul to Pamela in Lubbock," although sometimes I feel like it would be much simpler if He had. But rather, He has asked that we walk, dedicating our steps to Him, trusting that He will lead us in the right direction.
"Commit your works to the LORD and your plans will be established."
Are we allowing God to direct our path? Or are we waiting on God to pave another road for us? Are we trusting that He will guild are steps, or are we waiting for Him to shuttle us from A to B?
Are we walking by faith? | | |
| Instrument of His PeaceSo I've decided something. I want to be a person of peace.
Throughout my shortly lived life on this earth, I have come in contact with a great deal many people. I have lived with many of them, grown close to many of them, and learned from most of them.
I realized something when I was young. I realized that I could be anyone I wanted to be, I just had to do it. Growing up I was the load, obnoxious know-it-all who made a racket in class. I was mean to other children at day-care and my curiosity got me in more trouble than I'd like to admit.
When I moved from Goodland, Kansas to Colby at the age of 9, I decided to become a different person. No one knew who I was at this new school I was going to, and no one expected anything from me. I could become anyone I wanted to be. I chose to become Tess.
Tess was a girl in my 3rd grade class that I never heard speak. She didn't come across as over confident, or disconnected, but simply silent. I don't know why I admired her so much, but I did, and I wanted to be just like her.
When I moved to Cobly I stopped speaking at school. I stopped being the talkative know-it-all, and rather became the painfully shy child who couldn't bear to speak to strangers.
Had I known then what I know now, I might have chose a different person to become. However I think the principle is true. We can be anyone we want to be. We have the ability to adapt, and if we pursue it, the chance to become anything we want to be.
In coming back to my original thought, I want to be a person of peace. Not only do I want to possess peace, but I want to be the type of person who brings peace into others lives.
When I think about who Jesus is, and how people must have felt around Him, I get the overwhelming feeling that being in His presence, in all of it's joy and marvel, was peaceful. I don't get the feeling He yelled at His disciples or throw careless words of anger or frustration around. However, I get the image that He was encouraging, even if at times blunt. He is the kind of person who can call you aside, and rebuke you for your wrong, and afterwards you want to hug Him because even in rebuke, He demonstrates kindness.
I want to be like Jesus.
So many of the people in my life display Jesus in so many different ways. Some give like He gave. Some are kind, like He is kind. Some have wisdom that can only have been given by Him. And some bring peace. Some make the whirling wind around me feel like a gentle breeze. Some I want to be close too simply because they are quiet and still.
The last few days I have not felt at peace. I have felt stressed, and irritable. I have felt angry and envious. I have had a really bad attitude about certain things, people and places. I decided I don't want to be like that. I want peace. I want His peace. | | |
| 598 photos later.Have you ever thought north was south and south was north and 45 minutes later realized you were in the wrong spot? I always seem to get lost on the same pont (and no that is not misspelled) next to Cité, near Notre Dame Cathedral.
 Today, I was blessed to be invited by a member of the church out to Giverny, the home of Monet to view his house and gardens. It was amazing. It rained up until the time we got there, so the flowers were covered in beautiful droplets of water. Just walking around the garden was such a nice break from the ordinary and gave me a great reason to pull my camera out and snap a few shots.
After viewing the estate, we went and had lunch in a quant little restaurant. I ate the most wonderful Salade Chèvre Chaud (Hot goat cheese salad). Then we drove back into town.
When we arrived back in Paris, I went my on my own way, heading for Notre Dame via the Louvre. After 45 minutes of walking, all the while enjoying the scenery and taking more photos, I realized I was going in completely the wrong direction, turned around, and walked the hour back to where I wanted to be. It was well worth it the error. :: smiles ::
 (One of my favorite signs in Paris.)
When some people go and visit their favorite places, they like to eat at certain restaurants, visit different monuments, or see different scenes. Me, I like to take pictures of the same random things. I don't know why. But I like it anyways. I've always wondered what this sign means.
Today was a good day. It was nice to have time just to walk around, think, and get my bearings again. It was nice to take photos. It was nice to be with friends. Today was a nice day.
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| The Family of GodIt might sound cliché, but I love driving into town, and seeing the Tower all lit up. For me, the Tower represents a dividing point between tourism and my reality. For most of the people I knew in my past, it was a symbol of culture, travel, and their unlived dreams. I don't know how many people I've heard say, "Oh, I'd love to go to Paris someday."
For me, however, the Tower is the symbol of the nation that I love. The people that my heart belongs to in so many ways. It is the object, that when seen on t-shirts and paraphernalia causes me to see the faces of my family.
So when I drive into town and see it all lit up, there comes this overwhelming feeling of happiness. Not because I have traveled across oceans to see a city full of history and lights. But because I am among family, in a place that I love.
 (Lily Anne and me in Africa 2007)
Today we had the pleasure of going to visit Lily Anne and her family 75 km outside of town. They just moved into a new house about 9 months ago, which used to be an old bar. Needless to say there was a lot of work to be done. There is still quite a bit to do, but little by little it is becoming a home.
We spent the afternoon talking together, enjoying tea and crisps, and when her family came home, we enjoyed the evening meal together. It was so good to see her and her family, reap the pleasure of their company, and rebuild that friendship. I feel like I have so much left to learn from her and her experiences.
 (Lily Anne's Family with Rose and Roland Mohsen)
I feel so blessed to be here. Rose told someone today that having me here was like having one of her own children come home for a visit. I feel the same way. When I think of "4, rue Deodat de Severac, 17th Paris", I think of family.
I don't know where God is going to put me in this life. I don't know where I'll be in 20 years. But I pray that no matter what happens, the relationships that I have now, the family that I am close to, both on this side of the ocean and the other, will always be a part of my life. I pray that through my relationships God is gloried, and those whom I love are encouraged to serve Him more faithfully.
Sometimes life is difficult. Sometimes life is wonderful. Sometimes I am simply happy to be.
PS - I found my favorite chocolate at Lidl tonight. :: smiles :: | | |
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