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| This was written by a friend to those who are starting a missions program.
"I want to share something very important with you today. It is a phrase you have most likely already heard, and certainly will hear again. “Be flexible”. They are so simple, yet so encompassing. I hope you do not grow to scorn these words. They will be a curse to those who choose not to accept them. I personally believe that these words have great value in the Christian walk. I believe this to be true because if truly taken to heart, this is not only a motto, but a way of dealing with life. There are things in this program that are going to be very hard, and they will have nothing to do with classes. You will be asked to do things that are more inconvenient than you can possibly imagine. There will be plans that have to be changed. Lack of comfort will become a norm. You will miss sleep like a baby misses its momma. In all of this you must, of course, be flexible. But it goes deeper than this. It shapes how you deal with tragedy and pain in your life. How you will interact with your spouse. How you raise your children. How effective your ministry will be. I really want you guys to know this.
But being flexible is also quite applicable there in Lubbock. You are going to have a whole gob of rules placed on you. It will not be very fun. My advice: be flexible. You may think you are being treated like a child. Be flexible. You will be attracted to someone in your class, but will be discouraged from dating them. Be flexible. People will frustrate you and you will just want to kick and scream and pack up and leave on the spot. Please, please, please, be flexible. You are going to do amazing things, my friends. I believe in you and I believe in this program. Welcome to the adventure. God is on the move." - JM | | |
| The wind gently blew her hair from her face. The balcony on which she sad overlooked the canal running throw town. It was modest home, but to her, it might as well have been a palace. There was a kitchen with every needed utensil, a full bath, and a bedroom with windows that let in plenty of sunlight in the morning. Books lined the shelves within her bed chamber, and she relished the time she was able to spend there. On the balcony, that was accessible through both the hall and her own room she sat and thought. She thought about life and about what it would be like to leave this place. Again and again she asked, "why me?" Of all the people that God could have sent to Italy for the summer to work and serve this community of believers, why had He given her the opportunity? The thought made her grateful and fearful. Grateful for the gift and stewardship. Fearful that the one she loved most in the world would be disappointed by her efforts. Then she sighed. All she could do was put forth effort. It was His job to cause the increase. He was the great organizer of His own plan. Her responsibility was to do with what she had been given. She prayed that she had.
The wind was beginning to blow harder, and she could feel rain drops splashing against her hand. She loved this life. From walking a mile and a half one way to get groceries to fumbling through other languages to get a point across. She loved the simplicity of the people here. The way they took time to live, and gave themselves to each other in love and community. Being here made her miss home more than any other place. She longed for France and the life she had once had there. She missed her friends and the church, but they weren't gone from her life, even if she was hundreds of miles away. While this place made her heart yearn for times gone by, it also gave her a sense of peace. Somehow the lifestyle was familiar and comfortable, the manner of the people similar to her own. The air here somehow smelled the same as it did long ago.
Thunder crackled overhead. How long had it been since she'd sat in a thunderstorm and felt the rain on her skin? Just the memory of an evening spent running through the downpour brought a smile to her mouth. She wished she could run down the street, across the square and down to the dock. She wished she could sit by her canal. But she was thankful for this one. She was thankful that ducks were nibbling at the moss, and the church bells were ringing. She was thankful for the breeze and the sound of diesel engines buzzing by. Somehow she felt at home here. It wasn't the exact same feeling as being home, but there was a sense of comfortability. A feeling of happiness, like a child on his birthday who receives the exact make and model of the toy he's asked for all year.
Breathing the air in deeply she sighed again. The rain was coming. Physically it came to wipe away the smog from the buildings and refresh the land. It would cool things down after the heat, and bring the world to life again, the way a hard rain does. Oh how she loved the rain. It's freshness. It's cleansing power. Like Jesus and how He moved over her soul. Where would life be without Him? Would she be dead? Perhaps. But she knew for certain she wouldn't be here. She might be a rich lady in the city living a perfect dream, but her soul would be empty. She might even be a simple, kindhearted maid working on a farm, but unfulfilled and without purpose. With Him she had purpose. She had a reason to move forward. A reason to really live.
As the rain fell she thanked the Lord. Not only because of the blessings, but because of the times she'd felt empty, the times she'd felt out of place, and homeless. She blessed Him for giving her holes in her heart, so that He could show her that He was the only one who could fill them. And He was filling them. Day by day, with each breath she took. | | |
| The last year has been an interesting one. I turned 23 in France last summer while working with Daniel and Tammy. Then I returned to Sunset for my last year (as was thought.) I worked with AIM and fell quite in love with the people I was blessed to have in my life.
In January I officially joined the team headed for Scotland, and in March we all went to survey the land. Having brought my work with me, I stay back in Europe to work. First I went to visit the AIMers in East Kilbride, then to Paris for a month, and afterwards onto to Strasbourg for a brief visit.
I went back to the States for a week and a half for Quest (which was the shortest trip I've ever taken across the ocean) and then returned to Europe, this time to Italy to work for the summer, where I've been for the past month.
This year has been long in a lot of ways. I finished Sunset and got my bachelor's degree. I learned a lot about God not only at school, but also in the lives of the people He blessed me to partake in.
I made new friends and was able to spend time with old ones. How blessed I am to have people as close as family all over the world!
The year hasn't been full of happy bubbles on every side, but it has been a year where I have learned much and am thankful for the experiences that God has given me.
I don't know what this next year will look like. In my lack of infinite wisdom, I have made a sketch of what I'd like to see, and what I see God leading me towards. (I have the tendency to get it wrong.) So as I enter this new year of life, I am open to adventure.
This Year I Have :
Gotten lost in Rome.
Eaten a fish head.
Ordered food in another language and got something I wasn't expecting.
Held a day old baby.
Graduated.
Thought I was going to collapse under the work load I'd signed up for.
Slept at least two hours every night and most of them a good 8 hours.
Laughed with my family and enjoyed their company.
Watched my baby sister get married.
Watched my other baby sister move to Africa.
Had two new people added to my family, and the announcement of one more who will Lord willing arrive in 8 months.
Laughed with friends.
Cried over the loss of loved ones.
Cried because I was happy.
Genuinely enjoyed life.
This year, I didn't do everything perfectly. I sinned many times and was forgiven many times. I learned a lot of "what not to do's" and some "what to do's". And in the words of C.S. Lewis' Paranadrian Green Lady, I grew older. I am thankful that this year I could walk beside an awesome God who loves me, and who allows me, of all people, to serve Him.
I pray that this coming year will be a year where I can glorify God in all I do, and that people will see Him despite me.
23 full and blessed years. (It really is a wonderful number). | | |
| I find it interesting that Paul told the Corinthians that they were to "walk by faith". How many times in our lives do we take the attitude of "sit by faith" or "wait by faith"?
James tells the church in his epistle that they should not make plans to go and do business and leave it at that. But rather, while they are making plans, they are to have the attitude "If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that."
In our lives as Christians, sometimes it is hard to discern what the will of God is. He has not personally sent "The Epistle of Paul to Pamela in Lubbock," although sometimes I feel like it would be much simpler if He had. But rather, He has asked that we walk, dedicating our steps to Him, trusting that He will lead us in the right direction.
"Commit your works to the LORD and your plans will be established."
Are we allowing God to direct our path? Or are we waiting on God to pave another road for us? Are we trusting that He will guild are steps, or are we waiting for Him to shuttle us from A to B?
Are we walking by faith? | | |
| So I've decided something. I want to be a person of peace.
Throughout my shortly lived life on this earth, I have come in contact with a great deal many people. I have lived with many of them, grown close to many of them, and learned from most of them.
I realized something when I was young. I realized that I could be anyone I wanted to be, I just had to do it. Growing up I was the load, obnoxious know-it-all who made a racket in class. I was mean to other children at day-care and my curiosity got me in more trouble than I'd like to admit.
When I moved from Goodland, Kansas to Colby at the age of 9, I decided to become a different person. No one knew who I was at this new school I was going to, and no one expected anything from me. I could become anyone I wanted to be. I chose to become Tess.
Tess was a girl in my 3rd grade class that I never heard speak. She didn't come across as over confident, or disconnected, but simply silent. I don't know why I admired her so much, but I did, and I wanted to be just like her.
When I moved to Cobly I stopped speaking at school. I stopped being the talkative know-it-all, and rather became the painfully shy child who couldn't bear to speak to strangers.
Had I known then what I know now, I might have chose a different person to become. However I think the principle is true. We can be anyone we want to be. We have the ability to adapt, and if we pursue it, the chance to become anything we want to be.
In coming back to my original thought, I want to be a person of peace. Not only do I want to possess peace, but I want to be the type of person who brings peace into others lives.
When I think about who Jesus is, and how people must have felt around Him, I get the overwhelming feeling that being in His presence, in all of it's joy and marvel, was peaceful. I don't get the feeling He yelled at His disciples or throw careless words of anger or frustration around. However, I get the image that He was encouraging, even if at times blunt. He is the kind of person who can call you aside, and rebuke you for your wrong, and afterwards you want to hug Him because even in rebuke, He demonstrates kindness.
I want to be like Jesus.
So many of the people in my life display Jesus in so many different ways. Some give like He gave. Some are kind, like He is kind. Some have wisdom that can only have been given by Him. And some bring peace. Some make the whirling wind around me feel like a gentle breeze. Some I want to be close too simply because they are quiet and still.
The last few days I have not felt at peace. I have felt stressed, and irritable. I have felt angry and envious. I have had a really bad attitude about certain things, people and places. I decided I don't want to be like that. I want peace. I want His peace. | | |
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